“How are you?” “Fine”

I know I’ve started most of my blog posts with “have you ever”, and this is no exemption, so instead of asking, I’ll just assume majority of us have being in this situation.

You ask your friend “How are you?” and you know the popular random reply is “fine”, but you don’t just want a “fine”, you want something more; like actual facts. You want your friend to “mask-off”; to tell you what’s happening in his/her life at the moment.

Sometimes, we still get a very disappointing, one-worded “fine”.
With the way things are now; with a lot of insecurities and “bottling up”, it seems like everyone has something to hide. So, even you asking the question is hiding something behind the faux “fine” and you expect your friend to have something behind too.

Question is, what if I’m just fine? Nothing bad or turbulent happening in my life at the moment; nothing sweet or cheery to make me super-happy, just me living in the middle of routines.
God! Routines wear me off!
I remember telling one of my friends that my life was stagnant at the moment.
He was like, “Stagnant??!” and it seemed like it had a bad meaning or something. I actually meant my life was just revolving around one circle of routines; eating, sleeping, classes, church, repeat. It felt really exhausting.

I’m just writing to let you know it happens a lot and that something mustn’t be happening at every point in your life.
Everyone has a response to their “fine” phase. People like me just get sad.

There was a day I had to sit and think about why I was sad for no reason. I realized I was just itching to get out of those tiresome, soul-straining routines.
But then, I can’t afford to be ‘just sad’, so I do what some other people will do; I look for something new that interests me. Funny thing is, it could be something as little as getting a new book to read, starting an exercise routine, joining a new music group; you know, just something else.

Or I act like some other people would and understand that life is in phases and sometimes, we just get stuck in the middle of a phase. I mean, it could just be a sign that you’re about to move into a new phase.
Heard of the “Law of diminishing returns”? Being in a phase for quite a while might make you lose a whole lot of interest. I don’t know if it’s a personal opinion or something I got from someone, but I realized that I experience the law of diminishing returns when I’m venturing towards the end of an activity.

So, brace up!

God might just be giving you signs that some interesting is coming to your life; some next phase thingy.

No, you’re not depressed, hurt, hiding some bad experiences or distressed; you’re “just fine”, stagnant, maybe (permit me to use the word), and it’s really okay.

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28 thoughts on ““How are you?” “Fine””

  1. I really do have a lot of those stagnant weeks where nothing really seems to happen out of the ordinary but I have come to understand that my case, my mind is my greatest friend in such times. I really do a lot of traveling with my mind and I end up putting my travels on paper. You could say my imaginary friends help a lot 😂😂

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    1. Ayyyy!
      You know this!😂😂
      My mind helps a lot too.
      I do a lot of “healthy” thinking. It really takes my mind off the stagnancy and helps me create different scenarios of a next step

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  2. Ewache Gideon

    Well… Most times I think it’s easier to say “fine” thank going all the way to telling all the stories behind the “fine”… But really, it’s better to go beyond the just “fine” response to let one know how you really feel down there… My thoughts

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  3. Hmm…. If this ain’t me at the moment. Doing the same thing over and over again gets tiring and makes me feel drained. What I do is try to recondition my mind and start something new (most times, I bake something new)

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  4. Phases like this when everything seem to be”stagnant” is when I speak to myself the most to the point of amusing myself 😅.

    While other time I just pick up a nice book to read.

    This really is a nice piece👍

    Yeah, nothing is wrong with me. I am just fine!

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  5. Oluwatobi Adetunji

    Thanks… Yes, it’s more productive to say things behind the ‘fine’ especially when you are telling the right person. The human brain and body can handle a lot than some of the routine we are used to… Though change is not always easy to some of us sha…

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    1. Sure
      If something is wrong, and I say “fine”, then I’m lying or trying to hide something.
      We should always try to open up to trusted people around us.
      Thank you very much

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  6. It honestly is comforting to know that I am not alone in this. I will, henceforth, make better use of my mind when feeling “stagnant “.😄
    Nice write-up.

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    1. Thank you very much
      We dwell so much on a problem, instead of the solution.
      Like I said, I had to stop being sad. Being sad was me dwelling on the fact that I felt stagnant. Getting up to start something new was me trying to find a solution to being stagnant.
      Take care of yourself 😊

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