Love. Grace. Mystery

I had a very wonderful start this morning and I decided to share it.
I was singing this morning, called it worshipping though. Then at some point, I figured I wasn’t concentrating. Well, I continued. At some point again, I stopped. “Chisom, what exactly dyu want to focus on?”. So I decided to focus on God’s love and His grace and all. I tried to sing different songs to describe how wonderful God’s love actually is. After several trials and the songs weren’t still enough, I broke down.
“Why’d he love me so much? I don’t understand. What did I do?”
I had been a good girl since day 1, Lol, even before I knew ABC. Raised by Christian parents, went to Christian private schools, heard the Word of God everyday, knew a lot of “dos” and “don’ts”. But these weren’t enough for God. He wanted something deep with me, for some reasons I have no idea about. He made realize that being good wasn’t being saved. Being good is a temporary choice and you can also decide to “unbe” good someday. That was sometimes the case with me. I did bad stuffs, things people might not imagine, but I said to myself, “25% bad wouldn’t hurt. Afterall, I’m mostly good”.
God made me realize that in His World, there’s nothing like “being good”, there’s nothing like good and bad. There only became a “good and evil” when Adam and Eve ate the Forbidden fruit. He wants to take us back to before they ate the fruit, where there’s only “God’s mind”. So instead of “good and evil”, you have “what God supports” and “what He doesn’t”. He so much loves us that He craves intimacy with us, just like he had with Adam and Eve before they ate the fruit.
I was crying cos He never asked for anything back, He just loves me. He never made me cry painfully, He never made me feel worthless. He never made me ask if “He really loves me”, He never made me ask “why He’s treating me *this way*”. The ever refreshing intimacy I’ve always craved for, He came and filled the void once and for all. He always listens to me, without laughing at my thoughts and how unrealistic they are. He always made me feel peaceful whenever I talked with him. He’s always positive, tells me how strong and beautiful I am and He means it. Lol, He doesn’t even get angry when we haven’t had intimate moments for like 3days.
He’ll be like, “Ok, you’re sorry, I forgive you, let’s move on”.
Funny as this is the opposite of relationships we have these days.
So my question is, “why do we look for what we want in the opposite direction?”.
It’s just like you want to read and there’s no light in your room and then you move about looking for light, you see a class that has light and then you pass it and move to the next class without light.
For some thousands of years, “the law” has tried to bring us to that point of intimacy with God, and then God was tired of watching the ignorance and came to do the only thing that could bridge the distance, “to die”. He did that selflessly, because of love (Anyways, real love is selfless).
That’s it.
The death opened our eyes, tore away every blanket of ignorance, (just like it tore the curtains of the Holy of Holies. As if to say, “This isn’t the real deal, peeps”).
But we’ve chosen to be blinded. In the real sense, the curtains are torn, but we choose to see them finely knitted.(Deceit from the devil). We still see ourselves as “humans” instead of “people saved by grace”
I love Romans 8. Verse 12 says, Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.[NLT]
I finished this wonderful session with God and I got up. I couldn’t ask for anything, couldn’t request. I couldn’t pray my daily prayers. But I dropped one request, just one. That God will help others realize, just like he did to me. That even as our eyes have been opened, there shall be a yielding of our spirits and a transformation of our minds.
Romans 12:2: Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.[NLT].
I love y’all and I mean it.


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3 thoughts on “Love. Grace. Mystery”

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