Result Palava

“Funke! Funke!!”. Is there anytime she’s not shouting my name? Ha!
“Ma, I’m coming.” Funke answered
“Why haven’t you eaten your breakfast?”
“I’m not eating, I don’t like the vegetable sauce”
“Ok, just make sure you don’t eat anything else”
“But Ma………..”
“Shut-up, I don’t want to come back and still meet that sauce there.” Mrs Adegoke pulled her right earlobe.
“Mummy, veggies give me heart burn”
“All of you are spoilt. Very spoilt.” She shook her head. “When I was your age, I ate every food I was given.” She murmured as she left the kitchen.
“JJ, I hope you’re ready. You’re almost running late”
“I am” he chuckled and gave her a kiss on her forehead.
“Your daughter doesn’t want to eat the food her mother cooked oo”
“Ah ahn, Keke, Why now?” Mr Adegoke squeezed his face in disappointment.
“Daddy, veggies give me heart burn”
“Don’t worry, pray over your heart and eat your mother’s food, iyeh?” Mr Adegoke patted Funke on her shoulders.
“Sha lemme not meet that food when I get back is my own oo” Mrs Adegoke shouted before closing the door.
“Oh…. Oh…… Oh…….. Oh… Oh” Keke stormed her way upstairs. Is there anyday they won’t annoy somebody. Mtcheww….
She picked up her phone and put on her data connection. “Hmm, seems like everyone is active on the group today.” “Blood of Jesus! 296 messages just this morning”
She clicked on the “ACCOUNTING CLASS’19” group chat. “Hehehe, result is out, finally” She exclaimed aloud. Then David’s message came in.
David: Keke, What’s up na?
Keke: I’m fine oo. You?
David: Fine too. Howfar your result na?
Keke: I’ve not seen mine yet, still waiting for it to enter my phone.
David: I trust you na. Mama for the IWEs. I’ve seen mine sha. No spill over. Phewww. The result is good sha.
Keke: Na you na. Efiko
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Funke!! Funke!!!” Keke was already hearing (perceiving) the fume from her dad’s voice as she ran downstairs.
“What is the meaning of this? Ehn?” He showed her his phone.
Funke collected the phone and put her hand over her mouth. One B, four Cs and two Fs!!!!
“Mogbe” She exclaimed aloud
“O ti gbe, duro naa” If eyes could kill, Mrs Adegoke would have killed her daughter by now.
“JJ, you see why I’ve been telling you to collect her phone? She’s always on Whatsapp and Instagram. Infact, if you see her pictures on Instagram eh!” She eyed Funke one more time. “She’s always taking pictures in class with that her friend, errmmm, Toyosi. They will not listen in class.” “How do you want your father to drive confidently in that school again? You have disgraced him.”
Mr Adegoke was still staring at Funke. “Keke, you still haven’t answered me. What is the meaning of this?” He asked calmly this time around.
“Daddy, I swear, I read very well. I was very sure of…..”
“Shut-up. Sure of what? Ehn, sure of what?” Mrs Adegoke was half standing now.
“Now your registration officer is already calling me, ehn, Funke!” Mr Adegoke put the phone to his ear.
“Good evening Sir. I’m very sorry for the inconveniences. We mistakenly sent the wrong result to you Sir.” Mr Gbemiga said.
“But it has my daughter’s name on it”
“No Sir, actually, we have two people bearing Adegoke Funke in the department. It’s just the middle name and matric number that differs.” “I really apologise for the costly mistake. I’ll send the right result to you now.”
“Thank you so much Mr Gbemiga.” Mr Adegoke replied.
“Funke, what is your middle name?” Mr Adegoke asked his daughter.
“Darasimi Sir”
“Ah ahn, and I thought it was Damilola”
“JJ, you’ve forgotten your daughter’s middle name” Mrs Adegoke laughed and shook her head.
“Mr Gbemiga said this isn’t your result. You didn’t tell me you had a namesake in your department.”
Funke sighed aloud. “Thank God. I knew it.”
“Better don’t know it too much ooo. Pray yours is better.” Mr Adegoke said, half smiling.
“Funke, Oya go and bring the soup from the fridge and warm it. I’m going up to change my clothes, I’ll soon be back.” Mrs Adegoke said on her way upstairs.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Keke put on her phone. “Wow, 6pm. How did I sleep this long?” David’s message still read, “Howfar your result na?” She dragged herself downstairs. Mom wasn’t home yet. “Abeg lemme quickly warm this vegetable sauce and eat before mummy comes back.” She said to herself. “But what kind of dream did I have sef? Na wa oo. Result palava.” She shook her head and entered the kitchen.
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